First off, I love you all a ton. I am sorry I haven't written a whole lot lately, I should take more time out to do that. I am having lots of mixed emotions about when I go home. Clearly that is still a ways off, but I still get nervous about it. Nothing has been a bigger blessing for me than the periods of time that I have been able to forget myself and my worries and what I want and just work and learn. Just thinking about how that will change when this is over gives me a headache. When we think about ourselves tooo much we worry about the future. If I would just live and try my best without thinking too much about what I want I would be much happier. I know now for sure that I am going to be finishing as a secretary. Which is not to easy for me to hear. I feel very tired and sometimes I have difficulties because I want to preach and then when I get the chance for an hour I feel like I don't know exactly what to do with that one precious hour. I am larning so much, but the end of my mission has been much different from what I thought that it would be like. It has been more of what I needed than what I thought and has tested me and pushed me very much to be bettter. Not just with spiritual things, but also with goals and learning and using my time right. Patience is important. When we aren't being patient we often tend to treat other people differently than how we normally would want to treat them. Whoever has true patience they will be happy because they have hope in the Plan which God has prepared for us. If we find ourselves unhappy or overly worried I would say that it is probably because we are questioning too much if everything that happens to us, that really is out of our own control, is part of what we need to become and that god allows it to happen not to make us suffer, but to help us open our eyes and understanding so that they are more than what they were before.
I love fast Sundays. and this was the second to last that I will have to be here and testify as a full time missionary. I Just want to let you all know that I believe that Jesus Christ created the earth and that he can control all things except for us because Heavenly Father will never take away the agancy that we have always had. Hopefully we use it well because if we don't we will probably wish we could do this whole life over again. However, if our decisions were well made for the most part, for they shall never be perfect, then we will look back on this time of probation and be grateful for everything, every second that we have been allowed breath will be a moment for which we shall be very grateful. I feel comforted knowing that I have you as my family and that I was born into this family for a reason. I feel that each one of you has been an example for me of some Christlike attribute. You are all amazing I know that you are special and being part of our family makes me feel very blessed.
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